But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
