I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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