I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
