I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
