marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I deserve this hangover.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
