oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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