Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
