He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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