I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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