I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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