I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
