He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
