Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
