is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
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