Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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