NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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