No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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