So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Is it because I queefed?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
