so explain again why im purple
no
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
