the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
