So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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