He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
