Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
