U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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