no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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