a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
