We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
