I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
