Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Houston, we have a blender
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
