What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Who wears a wallet chain?!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
