no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
