It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
