I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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