O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
