I CAN MOONWALK!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
