Having a random hookup so left but love u
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
