oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
