I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize