new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
