I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
