These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
