We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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