I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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