sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize