Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
