where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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