were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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