help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
