Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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