Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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