everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
