I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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