non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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