We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
