when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
