Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
