in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
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