Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize