Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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