i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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